Headlines

This is something I got in my email - funny headlines. I'm sure the stories behind these weren't funny but just reading how these headlines were written is (^_^) And no, the comments in brackets aren't mine, that's how the email went.

1. Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]

2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]

3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

4. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

5. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]

6. Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

7. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

8. War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

9. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?]

10. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]

11. Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]

12. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

13. Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]

14. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]

15. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

16. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [do they taste like chicken?]

17. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

18. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....

19. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead